Criminal Obsession

Zac Efron has turned me into a criminal.

Seriously, by rights I should be placed behind bars possibly awaiting the grim executioner - or the more lenient life imprisonment. Not guilty of love in the first degree but of something far worse...

Or maybe not.


These icy blondes mean nothing to me, dude!
So come here and get me with my cool 'tude...
Whatever I say next would be totally hypothetical ( possibly wildly imaginary ) if you're somehow affiliated with the law - no matter how tenuous - but if you're not ( and perhaps sympathetic with inadvertent lawbreakers ), just read on.

You see, after work today I stole away to catch an afternoon screening of Hairspray ( only my second time really! ) pleased to find the cinema relatively empty apart from a gaggle of giggling schoolgirls, two lovey-dovey couples and a handful of musically-inclined fags scattered around. How else would you explain solo bachelors who scurry into cinemas with manbags to watch a song-and-dance?

If you'd been there this afternoon, you might have chanced to see me shimmying and twisting at the back aisles - embarassingly enough. Fortunately it was really dark, the music was really loud and no one noticed ( I hope pray to God! ) me clumsily re-enacting scenes showing on the screen. Like the kids say I just couldn't stop the beat, I swear! Might even have twisted my ankle with the mashed potato. Not that it was particularly criminal. Don't worry, I didn't kill anyone in the audience with my off-key warbling.

However later inspired by the musical, I took a stroll down to one of the chain bookstores cropping up in the city to check out the Hairspray Companion Book - a collector's album chock-full of delicious information about the singular phenomenon. A tad pricey I'll admit but it looked totally worth it with surprising little inserts between the pages such as handy booklets, postcards and leaflets here and there. Almost as good as being at the movies. Even small WYZT envelopes full of treats such as collector cards featuring the white-bread Council Kids, and of course the coolest cat of all, Link Larkin.


Please please Tracy babe, don't have a cow!
Forgive me, I belong to Paul now!
While browsing through the pages, somehow or rather Link's card slipped out of the pocket envelope so I placed it aside hoping to look at it later. Didn't think of it at the time but later after I'd returned the book to the counter I found that I'd forgotten to check whether I'd placed the picture back in the pocket.

Slipped my mind honestly. Assumed that it had been clipped safely between the pages and blithely wandered out of the store only to find the incriminating something fallen into my bag during dinner. Colour me surprised. Took me awhile to register the fact that I might have committed grand theft larceny since I was too busy staring at Link ( ... oh my Zac Efron ). I could hardly believe that the picture could have somehow fallen into my bag.

What are the chances? Bloody hell. It was destiny. I figure it was simply God's way of showing that Zac and I were possibly meant to be together. Yes, I can hear the bells. Doesn't stop me from feeling like a juvenile delinquent though.

Now assuming that the fictional story I just spun was somehow true, how do I return it?

BTW last post about Hairspray, I swear! You know Scorpios either love it or hate it? No wishy-washy in-betweens? Well I've gone right off the bend with this one. :P Even Charming Calvin is starting to complain about my rabid fixation. Maybe somebody get me the Two-Disc “Shake and Shimmy” Edition Gift Set! That would certainly help.