Saturday, June 25, 2016

Spoilerphobia To Cliffhangers

Spoilerphobia is becoming a real thing these days.

Sadly increasing in victims day by day despite the faithful reassurances from their friends, many of the unfortunates carrying this contagious disease wail endlessly over symptoms that range from being deathly afraid of the inevitable reveal of the suspenseful plot twist in a blockbuster horror film to near daily anxiety dealing with the perpetually leaked stab-murder plotlines in the weekly Game of Thrones. To them spoilers would literally be the coming of the apocalypse heralding the end of the world. Infected with the unfortunately incurable spoilerphobia, hapless patients come up with various coping mechanisms to deal with the ever-persistent encroachment of the internet into their lives.

I should know - since quite a few of my friends have been grievously taken by the disease; the handful who shriek hysterically at the merest hint of a spoiler during a regular conversation. Some childishly shut their ears chanting lalala mantras to deflect spoiler arrows while the persistent few hike themselves up to a mountain hermitage to avoid the inevitable. Fortunately none have vowed vengeance on the woeful announcer with whispered murder threats unlike the more advanced sufferers of spoilerphobia out there.

Me, I always find any plotline that hinges purely on a single spoiler - isn't really all that worth reading or watching after all. The appeal shouldn't lie solely on the power to deal that shocking whammy but how the subtle plotlines weave together to that particular scene; so that it essentially warrants a second or third viewing.

In fact I sometimes rush right to the end just to get a vague impression of how the entire story comes to an end. Really, if the majority of the characters I care about end up butchered mercilessly anyhow, why would I inflict masochistic punishment on myself by persisting in such lachrymose tragedy?

You know this really isn't going to end well.

Instead I hate cliffhangers. Not only when it comes to our general entertainment but when it deals with normal everyday conversations. Don't you just hate it when someone tells you something but leaves it hanging?

Friend : Oh I've got something to tell you.
Paul : What is it?
Friend : Maybe tomorrow la. Not so important now.
Paul : Do you want me to stab you with a fork?
Friend : Later la. 

Seriously. Give me a cliffhanger and I'll want to hang you over a cliff.

After leading me on with such scintillating conversation, now you're backtracking instead? Could you just spit it out already? What's with M. Night Shyamalan and keeping me in suspenseful teeterhooks? Unsurprisingly it's always the patients with spoilerphobia who display the vexing tendency to leave with cliffhangers. 

1 comment:

Gryphon said...

Ah, well, then you need to match every cliffhanger with an appropriate spoiler.

You're doing them a favour in the end.