Tuesday, March 01, 2016

The Secret of the Borgias II : Shifting the Gates of Hell

Sometimes quite literally.

There's not much more I can write about the infamous Forteresse de Borgia - that remote, heavily fortified family compound of Calvin's secretive brethren. Till now he hasn't entirely convinced me that the reason his parents are so reluctant to leave the demesne behind isn't because of a mysterious hell portal hidden deep underneath the quietly unassuming wooden floors.

Since surely the chosen guardians can't simply leave their sacred posts behind! One does not simply walk away from the Forteresse.

Despite having another family stronghold recently erected amongst the rest of their clan a stone's throw away, there has been no mention whatsoever of departing. Having the entire clan summarily relocate to the new compound hasn't managed to persuade Madame Borgia to move an inch. In fact there was even some rash talk of having the new place sold lock, stock and barrel to the highest bidder.

Or so she made us all think.

Just last weekend - lo and behold - his mama the redoubtable Madame Borgia made a sudden, unprecedented pronouncement.

Madame : We shall move. Next month. 
Paul : Wow. That was sudden. 
Madame : It has been foretold by the gods. 
Paul : Seriously I have so many questions. 
Calvin : Shh. 
Benedicta : We shall pack, mama. 

Obviously the rest of the Borgias - even Charming Calvin - didn't see fit to ask a single question about their impending movement to what I'm now calling Casa de Borgia. What the Madame imperiously dictates; apparently happens with these shockingly obedient, unquestioning children!

Madame : Yes we are moving.
Calvin : But you refused a while ago.
Madame : The timing wasn't right then.
Calvin : What changed?
Madame : Everything ...and perhaps nothing.

Maddeningly cryptic.

Since no one has cared to wonder why ( aren't they even the teensiest bit curious? ), it has certainly raised dozens of questions in my head. Why the move? What initiated the move? Why now? Utterly deferential to her mother's edicts, biddable Benedicta didn't even raise the slightest demur so I had to interrogate the marginally more fractious Calvin instead.

Paul : Your parents have had the new place for almost two years. 
Calvin : Yes. 
Paul : Your extended family moved there more than a year back. 
Calvin : Yes.
Paul : But your parents have never thought of moving ever. 
Calvin : Yes. 
Paul : They do visit the new place occasionally. 
Calvin : Yes. 
Paul : So it took them two years to suddenly decide. 
Calvin : Yes. 
Paul : I've figured it out. 
Calvin : Yes? 
Paul : Actually the two years was spent trying to move the dreaded hell portal to the new home so that you have more family members to watch over it. Since the hell demons were slowly breaking through, they figured they needed help guarding the portal!
Calvin : ....

Really. Isn't that the most logical reason for the move?

No comments: