Thursday, March 17, 2016

Brutes, Brigands & Bandits

Friend : Oh when are you moving? I heard you have a brand new place? 
Paul : It's not really ready yet. Cabinets and all. Still needs that final touches here and there. 

At least that's what I usually reiterate when questioned. Surprisingly frequent these days. Apparently it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good house must immediately move in.

Truth be told the brass key to the gates of Hartfield has been hidden in my front pocket for the past few months or so. The walls are done, the lights are up and the only hitch would be me repeatedly cautioning the fanatical contractors against placing up the final fittings before it's ready for the dazzling debut.

Though the thought of finally bringing out Hartfield to society thoroughly thrills me, there is still a little nagging splinter of worry in my ever anxious mind. That's all due to the brutes, brigands and bandits that abound in that remote district. As much as I adore the vast breadth of Hartfield, that doesn't make me forget that it also lies in the similarly vast, unexplored remoteness of the dreaded Backwoods.

Practically terra incognita in these parts since they cleared parts of some uncharted wildlands for the building of Hartfield.

Maybe the rolling mists would be able to hide Hartfield from the barbarous bands of brigands. 

Sounds almost romantic, you might say! True enough; perusing through the tattered pages of one of my favourite novels Wuthering Heights while reliving the harrowing tale of the tragic Earnshaws might seem riveting ... but the very real thought of residing by myself in a lone mansion amongst the lonely, rugged moors without a single neighbour for miles would be a tad too overwhelming.

Especially with so many blackguards roaming the lawless Backwoods. With the degree of policing even in the more populated districts being quite suspect, you can imagine how shockingly criminal this lonely, inaccessible area could be. Probably would drive me insane with creeping paranoia.

Is it any wonder Heathcliff went just a bit batty living all alone - if you don't count the help - in the moors?

Calvin : So that means you'll never move? 
Paul : I'll just wait it out. 
Calvin : Wait for? 
Paul : Wait for the other residents to move in. 
Calvin : To have a more convivial atmosphere? 
Paul : No, to provide alternative targets. Let's make sure the raiders and robbers get the fill of all the other homes in the Backwoods first.

Good idea, no?

Perhaps I've just gotten a little too comfortable in Netherfield. 

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