Saturday, June 21, 2014

He's Just Not That Into You

It's just that simple after all. After that infamous bestseller with the same title debuted to much acclaim, you would think that every aspiring singleton on the make would already have that particularly refreshing mantra tattooed in their hearts each time they go out on a date.

Or at least that's what I initially thought.

Despite having being out there for several years, that little bit of knowledge doesn't seem to have trickled down to Diffident David who has been nursing a hitherto clandestine straight crush for the longest time. No longer all that secret since he isn't quite as discreet as he might like to think.

Hell, even the target of his glaringly pronounced affections knows - and therein lies the problem.

Since the emphatically straight boy doesn't want anything to do with David. Despite handing out a clear homophobic warning to stay away - and generally avoiding him, nothing seems to be able to dampen David's ever-burning ardour in the least. Even occasionally acting like a massive douche didn't work to scare away our lovesick David with his rose-tinted glasses. Repeated admonishments from all his friends - and us to remain a hundred feet away didn't seem to sink in at all.

Yes, I swear I had to physically restrain myself from repeatedly smacking David upside the head. I'll readily admit the straight boy is briefs-dropping hawt but he's undeniably straight. Possibly good for a drunken drug-fueled fuck ( maybe twice! ) but nothing else.

Oh baby, you wanna get with this!

So like I told David. This is not even He's Just Not That Into You. This is actually He Will Never Be Into You. Fortunately I didn't have to be the one to deal him that particular Slap of Sobriety since the straight boy - ever so helpful - handled the final blow himself.

David : He told me to stay away. 
Paul : Good for him. 
David : He said he never wants to see me. 
Paul : Good for him. And you. 
David : But I want to be friends only. 
Paul : He took the choice away from you. Good for him. 
David : But I -
Paul : No. 
David : But -
Paul : No buts. It's a fait accompli. 
David : He didn't have to say it like this.
Paul : Tough love but I like him now. 

Tough love but I am glad it happened actually. At least now he can start getting over this tiresome straight boy already.


Anonymous Esq. said...

He sounds like a desperate man. Haiz.

Tempus said...

Everyone have their straight crushes; just let him get scarred and he will stay away and learn to put ointment one.

Anonymous said...

Poor guy! Sometimes letting someone down easy doesn't help. Hopefully he'll get over it.