Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Kiss The Girl

Like all cherished fairy tales, they all end with a happy ending where the lucky pair walks off into the panoramic sunset hand in hand after their various trials and tribulations. Though we had our doubts about that ever happening for our wandering sea urchin Lissome Lorelei, it turns out that potions and charms actually do work out fine at the end as she finally managed to walk down the aisle to the sound of a hot crustacean band.

On her two feet.

With the rest of the Lushes dressed up to the nines in attendance. Not forgetting our Charming Calvin as my plus one yet again. Turns out life truly can be the bubbles under the sea.

Sarah : The wedding went off smoothly! Time for champagne!
Paul : Phew! Thought we were going to have to break out the poison instead!

Calvin : You brought poison again?
Shalom : Abuthen?

With all the trials and tribulations right before she set off on her voyage into the sunset, could you blame us for doubting? As soon as the wedding date was set, problems seem to plague the wedding planning from bridezilla botherations to parental predicaments. Have to admit there were even times when I wondered if the little mermaid would end up returning the favour by poisoning the shockingly perverse sea witch mother-in-law.

Can't say I would blame her.

Just two weeks before swamped by all the pre-wedding chaos, a jittery Lorelei stood inches away from leaping back into the indigo waves for her beloved fathoms below. Land and shore be damned. It was all I could do to talk her back into her well-appointed suite with all her whosits and whatsits galore. Not forgetting her prince.

But she seemed perfectly composed by the time we finally caught up to her the night before the wedding. Though I found myself astonished to find myself standing beside a distressingly fragile Lorelei.

Paul : OMG have you been starving yourself?
Lorelei : Just a little bit of stress with the wedding.
Paul : So you ate only salted seaweed for six months?
Lorelei : I'm not that thin, am I?
Paul : You're almost a 2-D animated character.
Lorelei : I could still smack you with the conch shell. 
Paul : Sure you could even lift that? 

Think half her weight was her voluminous hair. I was this close to stuffing her with a kelp sandwich.

Lorelei obviously didn't need to have wasted herself worrying since the wedding went on smoothly without a hitch. Each little clam there knew how to jam there, each little slug there cutting a rug there... the little mermaid needn't have worried. Even the sea witch behaved herself relatively well.

Though I was ready with darts in case she didn't.

And we finally had the prince kiss the girl.


Anonymous said...

Weddings are always such a drama.
"who to invite (and not)..who to sit where..decent food and champers". Argh. ..and then there is the eventual Divorce to consider once the novelty wears off..

savante said...

Ouch haha! Why such a sad view of marriage, anon!

Anonymous said...

i don't know whether i would call it a sad view of marriage :) more a reality check maybe..*shrug*..
the girls will always have a different view than us male gorillas that have evolved to. that is best left to a weekend of discussion over a little/lots of red and/or white wine