Saturday, March 29, 2014

Part of Your World

When you're in love and thinking of wedding rings, don't ever believe the entire shlock about only marrying the person. Short of performing a Mafia-style wedding massacre or falling for an unfortunate orphan, you will not only be joining hands with a bride, you'll be joining the family.

At least if you're Asian.

And after being privy to the entire clan she is marrying into, I fully understand why Lissome Lorelei had her niggling doubts about the commitment she was making. It was clear that her sea-witch mother-in-law was part of what my ISO begrudgingly used to call the Socialistas. Very little to do with socialism, everything to do with the social scene.

No, the Socialistas are out to outwit, outlast and outplay all the others in the upper crust social scene - basically a cross between Gossip Girl and Hunger Games. Calling them just plain old socialites would be an awful disservice since that just doesn't give them enough of a mean cachet.

Shalom : OMG are they gonna fight?Should we stop them?
Paul : Meh, it was gonna happen eventually.

My ISO should know. His patrician mother was a card-carrying member as well. And though she thankfully wasn't part of the scene here at the wedding, it was as if she was here in spirit with all the bouffant updos, the heavy mascaras and the conspicuously fake smiles.

And the prerequisite air-kissing.

Lorelei's mother-in-law was all that. And more.

Paul : The mother-in-law looks formidable. Don't think our poison would kill her. 
Shalom : We'd probably need a barrel. 
Paul : Probably what she wants to shove Lorelei in. 
Shalom : And toss her back into the sea where she came from?
Paul : Judging from the terse smiles, the mother-in-law will probably never accept Lorelei into the family.
Shalom : She's looking at Lorelei as if she was an unwelcome sea slug. 
Paul : Doesn't approve of ambitious sea creatures? 
Shalom : Looks like she wouldn't approve of anyone.
Paul : Let's hope for the best. L'chaim. 

With such a peevish mother-in-law, there's certainly no welcome into the family with open arms. Fairytale wedding might be over but I think our little mermaid is gonna be walking on sharp knives for quite a while.

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