Carnage

As the murky mists of morning clears away, all that lingers behind is the faint acrid stench of sweat and tears left by the warriors the night before. Gone are the horrific cries of men roaring in constant battle with steel and bronze clashing. Gone are the weeps and moans of those lamenting their fallen comrades. Structures of steel broken and torn, weapons of war left neglected and abandoned, gauntlets and armour left to rust on the messy battlefield; ironically tossed aside like the toys of a schoolboy carelessly discarded after play.

Except this isn't the Battle of the Somme.

In this furious battle of man and machines, few victors walk away from this shocking mess and the only humbled losers here would be the cleaners who come by in the morning to face the carnage left behind by the gym members the day before.

Yes, the mess is my gym early in the morning.


I'm bored. Let's break some stuff.
One would almost expect the fallen corpses of forgotten bodybuilders trapped behind rusty barbells. Wouldn't surprise me to have the unsuspecting few tripping over the forgotten dumbbells left haphazardly all over the floor. Let's not even mention the horrific condition of the showers and the lockers after the entire rambunctious herd of buffalos barrels through.

Yes, it irritates me. Why are boys always so messy? Haven't they heard of the simple phrase putting it back where it belongs? Hell I could have sworn there were reminders posted all over the gym walls. Even the dumbbell rack has tags to simplify placement and organization.

Perhaps there is some truth in the stereotype. Though there's very little empirical evidence, even I'm starting to believe in the overblown myth that gay men actually are neater than their straight counterparts! Left to the gay boys, no doubt the dumbbells would be arranged according to height, weight and colour if that's at all available. Definitely no utilitarian grey that's for sure.

Maybe it's time they elected me gym monitor with a badge so I can spank all recalcitrant gym members. Now that's a dom role I'd certainly relish.