Saving Grace

Graceless Grace and I have always had a prickly friendship. Of course her rude in-your-face abrasiveness has led me to keep her at a comfortable distance - preferably a few hundred miles - since any closer would inevitably lead to a grisly murder with one of us butchering the other. Despite the apparent shortcomings however there is little doubt that I still consider Grace one of my closest friends. Certainly a close associate I can rely on in desperate straits come hell or high water.

Just not too much familiarity since it undoubtedly breeds contempt.

Which is we get along just swimmingly online. As it turns out the painfully caustic barbs Grace occasionally fires ( at random? ) tend to lose their acute sting over the internet. The lack of verbal abuse - coupled with the added distance between us - is the reason why I've been able to offer counsel on her latest disastrous dating debacle.

Encroaching senility on our part has some of us seeking out greener pastures for ever greener youths. 老牛吃嫩草 as the saying goes. Our Graceless Grace - ever the nonconformist maverick - has decided to head for the opposite extreme instead.

By trolling the nursing homes.

Okay that was a little mean. But you can imagine the consternation on my part when she told me she was dating a much older gentleman.

Grace : I'm dating someone. It's getting serious.
Paul : That's great news! Who is he?
Grace : He's a little older than us.
Paul : Age is no matter I'm sure. Only a number and all that.
Grace : Glad you said that since I'm going to be meeting his children next week.
Paul : Children?
Grace : And a grandchild.
Paul : You're dating a grandfather?
Grace : Umm. Yes.
Paul : Umm. That's great news?

Followed by half a dozen inappropriate geriatric jokes especially since it turns out our grandpa here has a fear of commitment, especially with one failed marriage on his resume. Cold feet apparently after that unfortunate mesalliance several months years decades back.


Paul : So will you be serving poisoned apples for lunch when you meet the kids?
Grace : You're going to be making jokes fr a very long time, right?
Paul : Right you are, stepmom.
Despite the evident pitfalls ahead, I told Grace to go for it. So what if the crusty old coot's hobbling on a cane! With no one else in the horizon at the moment, anything would be a marked improvement over the abusive bum she once dated. Advice she heartily took in good stead.