Pick Up Pick Up

Ever seen those action-thriller movies where the protagonist calls up their loved ones to give them a belated warning?

Protagonist : Pick up dammit! Someone's coming to kill you!
Phone : You have just reached the mailbox of Miss Y. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep.
Protagonist : You're gonna die a horrible death dammit!
Phone : Thank you for the message. Have a good day.

Even as the jittery audience climbs to the edge of their seats, we all know that the message would come too late to save the victim. By some unfortunate stroke of bad luck, that particular message would be bleeping on the cellphone even as the hapless victim is busy attending to various inconsequential errands, sadly oblivious to the fact that a vicious serial killer - armed with a dozen formidable weapons - stands gleefully behind them.

I'm rarely without my cellphone. Even informed my medical officers seriously that the day I miss a call, they would do well to alert the relevant authorities. Chances are I could be incapacitated - or even worse dead. Don't take calls as often though since my deplorable phone manners leaves much to be desired. However send a message and I'll usually reply almost immediately.

Unfortunately these days the cellphone is practically an extra appendage. A ubiquitous necessity hard-pressed to lose. Even had a girlfriend claim that she'd rather lose a miserable toe than her precious cell.


Pick up, dammit pick up!
Doesn't mean she's any more inclined to picking up though.

I believe that's a problem with our ladies and their phones. Perhaps not all of them but a large majority are regular offenders. Even my own mother's guilty of such a heinous crime.

Ever tried calling one of these girls? Unless she has just taken a call, it usually takes several rings for them to answer - if they even do so - since the phone's usually buried deep inside that unfathomable, multi-layered labyrinth called their handbag. Granted it's hard to hear the teeny-tiny ringtone they usually choose through that many layers of lipstick, Post-its and tampons.

What's the point of stuffing the phone right at the bottom of the purse? Helpful lil operator munchkins camped out in those ginormous purses willing to pick up the call?

Girl : No call's that important la.
Paul : Your boyfriend calling to tell you that a killer is camped at your door?
Girl : Unlikely lo.
Paul : Your boss calling to tell you to finish the assignment or you're fired?
Girl : Better don't answer lo.
Paul : Your father calling to tell you his dying wish on his deathbed?
Girl : Choi! He very healthy wan lo.
Paul : While you're talking, your phone's been ringing.
Girl : It has? Hee hee. You mean that was my ringtone? I should pick up right?
Paul : The call ended a minute ago.

Imagine if it was someone telling her to run for dear life.

Irritates me to no end. What if someone needed to pass on a Very Important Message? Inadvertently ignoring their call certainly wouldn't help.

Surely putting it on vibrate isn't gonna work anymore for these girls. Perhaps a brief electrical shock as a warning?