Thursday, March 12, 2015

World Full of Sin

When it comes to relationships, I will admit that it really wouldn't be that hard to turn into a bitter cynic these days. Impulsive day-long marriages leading to quickie divorces and then multiple marriages don't exactly bode well for the gravity and longevity of committed relationships. Much less those dreaded final steps down the aisle.

At least that's what I assume is in their dark skeptical thoughts! Not for me though since I have always been a romantic optimist complete with rose-tinted glasses and endless faith in happy endings... all despite my growing decrepitude.

Which is more than I can say for these young debutantes in town. Or the more correct term would be the Dogmatic Duennas from the Draconian Domicile.

Paul : Surely one eligible bachelor here caught your eye!
Mabel : Nary a one. All deutschbags, dunces and dimwits from what I can see.
Paul : Ouch.
Mabel : You don't count! Everyone knows you're a dandy who fancies other men.
Paul : That obvious?
Mabel : Only Sophia couldn't tell. 

Apparently all quite dogged in their demented determination to remain unwed from our Sober Sophia to the more strident Marvellous Mabel. There's a third to this terrifying trio but more on her peculiarities one day. Even the infamously tenacious matchmaker Mrs Bennet would have found them absolutely horrific in their curious disinclination to socialize with single eligible gentlemen - in spite of the many soirees and balls organized purely for their pleasure.

Sophia : There's no urgent need to introduce men to me! When the time comes, we shall get to know each other. 
Paul : Well the time has come so get to know them!
Sophia : I am certain God will bring us together again. 
Paul : Surely you're not depending on prayers for this. God has far more important missions to attend to.
Sophia : Oh you're so funny!
Paul : Look at this list then. Qualities you could want in a man. What would you go for? 
Sophia : Fidelity first of course. 
Paul : What? No intelligence, looks, titles or wealth? Surely a great body? 
Sophia : No, they have to be faithful first. 
Paul : Faithfulness comes first? Who has cheated on you? 
Sophia : No one!
Paul : Then what terrible romantic misadventures have befallen you before that you would insist on fidelity first? 
Sophia : It's just a really bad, bad world out there!
Paul : What?
Sophia : Yes, it's a world full of sin!
Paul : Whoa. 

Well there you have it, out of the mouth of babes. Even a fresh-faced debutante in her early twenties has so little faith in the constancy of love. Unimpressed with the various Germanic Deutschbags presented to her, Marvellous Mabel was only too eager to agree with the disheartening sentiment and picked faithfulness first on her criteria as well.


Such a daunting thought for the poor heterosexual bachelors out there! To begin a hopeful relationship with the ladies so cynically skeptical they already half believe that it would fail miserably due to the false-hearted vagaries of men! Doesn't look like there's a prayer of succeeding!

Me, I chose funny, smart and handsome - in that order. 

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