Monday, December 19, 2016

Waiting in the Wings

Often I've repeated my faint distaste of mawkishly fawning couples who find themselves figuratively joined at the hip. Even the veriest thought of a fleeting moment's separation seems to bring about a world of agonising torment unimaginable. Perhaps those recently enjoined I grant a couple of months to revel in their joyous cohabitation.

Hoping beyond hope that most would get over the relentlessly punishing forever-together time. However an ill-fated number find themselves far too weak to extricate themselves from such union and are forever lost as a shipped portmanteau.

Well... unless he looked like Chris Evans. Yes, I am quite biased. Even so if I waited for an hour, the man had better be ready to be my sex slave after.  

Such a two-headed creature eternally bonded I found right there in my local gym. For more than a week I've watched this fascinating quadruped make its way to the weight stations only for the male to uncouple for his obligatory hour of weightlifting whilst the female of the pair sits herself at the side to observe.

Rather than hie herself to whichever location would suit her best, all she does is position herself in a corner to watch. And she does this each time I see her. One would think with female empowerment these days, there would be better options for a girl like her instead of just whiling her wasted time waiting for her man.

Paul : She just sits there like a statue waiting!
Kat : Maybe she doesn't have anything to do!
Paul : Read a book. Sketch a scene. Find a job. Get a life. 
Kat : Or maybe take up some exercise?
Paul : You would have thought so but the only exercise she gets is sending texts with her fingers.
Kat : Is her boyfriend hot at the very least? 

She could only wish. Well... short of lying in wait for Chris Evans to finish his workouts - since hey, who wouldn't wanna watch him do squats!

Even then, it would be a one time thing to just wait. Squandering that precious hour every day just to keep the man company on his gym time seems faintly ridiculous - and almost enough to make me want to throttle the dimwitted girl for it.

Couldn't she at least take up a spin class?

No comments: