The Sick Buffalo

Scorpios are naturally suspicious creatures.

And surprisingly contrary! Rather than be doubtful about the scruffy miscreants around, it's the slick, shiny paragons that bother me more. The closer they are to approaching a marble pedestal, the more leery I am of the incomparable nonpareil in question. No one's ever that perfect after all, not even plaster saints.

Which is how all my cagey senses came alive when a friend resurfaced after several years of disappearance raving madly about his new Thai paramour. From the way he summed her up almost reverently, I imagined a magnificent apsara had drifted down from the mighty heavens to grace us with her magnificent presence!

Friend : She's the best thing that ever happened to me!
Paul : How about a picture?
Friend : Sure, look at her! Isn't she beautiful?
Paul : Sure she is. 
Friend : Check out all her pics on facebook!
Paul : Sure does have a lot! It's all of her only! Doesn't she have any friends? 
Friend : I'm sure she has! Just no pics together I guess. Maybe she just doesn't put it up. 
Paul : Isn't she supposed to live with her family? 
Friend : Camera-shy relatives?
Paul : Her supposedly hi-so relatives are camera-shy?
Friend : Well it happens. 
Paul : And her profile has nothing prior to last year? 
Friend : Maybe she was shy. 

Usually I'd be all clapping congratulatory when it comes to new romances - but the only thing that came to my mind at that moment was the legendary sick buffalo story. Unfortunately that cautionary tale happens all too often in Thailand. Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Boy returns to home country.

And then the sob stories begin, starting with the inevitable sick buffalo story. 'Tee rak, my family buffalo fall sick. So cannot work. My family no money. No money to buy food.' Or an improved variation thereof. Sometimes it's a college loan unpaid. Or even an ailing parent. Regardless of the tragicomic reason, some immediate monetary help would be kindly appreciated, khop khun ka.

Hard to say no when some of them invariably look like this. I mean, wouldn't you help his sick buffalo? 

Or khop khun krap - since these days, even lovelorn homosexuals get similar treatment from their native toyboys. Even forewarned and forearmed, the most hardened cynics still fall hopelessly for the unequalled charms of these irresistibly charming conmen.

Yes, I am quite the hopeless cynic as well - though I hope for my friend's sake that my sneaking suspicions are wholly unfounded! So I purposely held back when he asked for my opinion, just hemmed and hawwed, made a brief comment on her far-too-obvious prettiness. Let us all believe that her intentions are pure, her heart is secure and her wallet isn't being filled up with his hard-earned savings. Please let there be a happy ending for this particular fairy tale.