Monday, October 13, 2014

The Second Slap

Even amongst my uninitiated friends, the Slap of Shame has become quite the legend. Timed to coincide with any overly emotional boo hoo crap, it usually shocks the unfortunately near-senseless victims into painful reality. Honing the skills at work with my patented soft tap of wakefulness does seem to toughen up my shocking soberslaps so it works like a sobering charm.

With most of my friends currently happily involved and few sobmelodramas, there hasn't been much use for the Slap of Shame. Well at least till recently.

You see, one of my friends spends way, way too much time at work. For someone in my line, working too hard is quite usual - but you'd rarely find us doing it more than we should. Saving lives are one thing. Staying over just because is definitely not done.

But overworking seems to be par for the course for our Zealous Zoe. Doesn't surprise anyone to find this lean, mean working machine toiling away at the office without any overtime allowance on Sunday mornings. Staying late past dinnertime finishing up paperwork on weekdays is a usual thing for our dedicated salarywoman Zealous Zoe. Even having the entire building gradually shut down around her, leaving her tiny cubicle the only one spookily lit on the entire darkened empty floor, doesn't give Zoe enough incentive to leave her place at work.

Wouldn't surprise me if she has a battery-charged lamp ( along with several candles and energy bars ) at the ready just to work past midnight.

Zoe : This has to stop. 
Paul : What? Our thoughts on how to prank you when you work till midnight all alone in the empty office building? 
Zoe : Yes, that has to stop. But I'm talking about my pace at work. 
Paul : Oh?
Zoe : I might be overworked. 
Paul : Might? 
Zoe : Okay, I am overworked. 
Paul : From your own volition. 
Zoe : Yes. 
Paul : Finally. You haven't seen sunlight in weeks. Well at least not from outside. 
Zoe : Promise me you'll make me leave work on Fridays at least. 
Paul : Oh?
Zoe : Promise!
Paul : Oh, why stop there? Let's make it really interesting.

Gives me a good enough reason to bring back the Slap. All in the interest of loyal friendship, I swear. Obviously worked till near mental exhaustion, poor Zoe capitulated far too easily to my demands without giving it too much thought. No doubt our little workaholic has forgotten that my legen... wait for it... dary slaps have the sheer power to almost bring back the dead.

Zoe : Maybe I should just type out one last e-mail.
Paul : Well if you really have to.
Zoe : You're being awfully nice.
Paul : It's almost 745.
Zoe : You just want to lay the smackdown, dontcha.
Paul : Got that right, sista. 

So come 1945 H on Fridays, I will spend my time stalking her office with my heated palm all ready.

No comments: