That Crack

For the past few years, Lanky Lex has crazy birthday parties that we all talk about for at least a week. And that's a long time for inane gossips like us. Half his party dissolves into a wailing South American melodrama while the other half is too wasted drunk to notice. Sometimes it's both.

Of course no one expected how wild his party this year would get.

None of his guests bitch-slapped each other over presumed differences. None of his guests slid down unconscious into a bubbling puddle of vomit. In fact no one was actually hurt at his party which was a first.

At least that we know of.

Quite possibly a few guests slipped unbeknownst through the cracks.


Welcome to the party! Step right over here folks, away from the crack on the floor.
Yes. You heard it. A deepening crack appeared right in the centre of the party floor. Right as we were indulging in shocking dishonourable vices.

Unlike terrified lil Japanese businessmen chased by raging Godzillas, we didn't run helter-skelter like suited mice with matching briefcases. In fact we didn't run at all. Just stood there staring agog with fascination, kinda like the idiotic drivers who can't take their eyes off road accidents.

The widening chasm on the floor just snapped and crackled ominously as we helplessly watched our relentless slide into impending doom. Almost biblical and practically 2012 in the making. With my peculiar taste for the macabre, I at least managed a chuckle over the sinister turn of events. Had a wicked flash of foresight where I wondered which hapless folks I'd hold out a helping hand for - and which ones I'd probably shove happily to their untimely deaths.

Or at least nudge to the ghastly preternatural black claw that will no doubt emerge from the hellish gap.

Which didn't happen obviously else I'd be publishing this in the tacky tabloids.

Fortunately the crack remained as it was. While the building stood untouched. Though we all hurried out as soon as possible - clutching crucifixes and amulets - after regaining our footing. Lex certainly throws eventful parties.

Still. Crack on the floor. A foreboding omen?

Or is Lex's disapproving Tradimum ( traditional mum for the uninitiated! ) cackling over a bubbling cauldron right about now?