English in Medicine

Judging by the overwhelming Malay-isation in this country with the added emphasis on culture and language, you'd be surprised to know that the medical faculty by and large ignores all that nationalistic dogma. Surprised even me to find that our medical notes have always been written in English. And it is in English - despite the fact that our horrid handwriting and the liberal use of incomprehensible medical jargon tends to confuse the laypersons.

Always been in English. Probably ever since the first practitioner of western medicine set foot on our tropical shores. No doubt a fair-skinned colonial Brit horrified by the primitive circumstances after being shipped here. Quite possibly appalled by the level of English spoken by the heathenish barbarians ( i.e. witchdoctors and snake-oil salesmen ) here.

I can even recall a stack of notes in the hospital library written about beri-beri by an intrepid physician in the last century.

Though the art of medicine has certainly improved by leaps and bounds since those early days, I doubt our proficiency in the language has done the same.


What gobbledygook is written here!
In fact we've actually gotten much worse. There are times I've felt the urge to hunt the wards with a dangerous red marker ready to circle the obvious gaffes.

In spite of the fact that we actually received extra lessons in medical school! Seriously. English in Medicine. The most boring classes ever. I could barely keep myself awake in the mornings as the awfully pedantic lecturer explained how we should introduce ourselves to the ailing patients.

Lecturer : Repeat after me. How do you do?
Class : How do you do?
Lecturer : Say it again.
Class : How do you do?
Paul : By George, they've got it!

Yes, how kind of them to let me come. I was this close to breaking into song - something about the rain in Spain staying mainly in the plain.

Check out this hysterically funny article by an esteemed colleague as he pokes fun at the general use of the language at work. I laugh but I'm pretty sure I've made a couple of mistakes myself. Easy enough to fall into that particular pothole. After all we all follow the same erroneous templates at work without much thought - whether it be an interdepartmental referral or a patient's orders.

So we tend to make the same grammatical blunders. Repeatedly.

Please do the needful? For your kind attention? Referred for your expert advice? And tripple inotropic therapy ( why the added p )? Oft-repeated phrases that have become so common that it has become a medical cliche of its own.

Most don't know any better. And the rest - possibly like me - find ourselves far too lazy to correct everyone else. Or find such boo-boos such a ready source of hilarity that we wouldn't want to change a thing. Nury Vittachi, eat your heart out.