Dead & Breakfast

No doubt it wasn't a typical funeral. Just like the one we had for my grandfather twenty years ago, there just wasn't the similar hushed solemnity that goes on in other homes. Neither was there a lot of hysterical outpouring of grief not seen since pitiful widows threw themselves onto funeral pyres.

There wasn't even a hint of black. 

Maybe some white but even that was eclipsed by the brilliant reds and pinks that constituted our funereal colours. Merriment and mirth aplenty as well since there had been time enough to say goodbye to a beloved grandmother. Not to mention the dining table was laden with food enough to feed the entire village. Pretty sure she would have been pleased to see us all come together for one last hurrah to send her on that final journey. 

Which seems like a fitting tribute for my grandmother if you ask me. 

Though of course she would have dismissed the entire religious ceremony with the customs and chants that accompanied the funeral bits. The incessant gossiping, much to the disapproval of the others, would probably have interested her since most of the time we were ruminating over the inexplicable actions of her youngest, and by far the most problematic, grandson, Richie Runt. 

Cousin : Jail in three years?
Paul : Maybe five?
Cousin : A wager? 

Spoiled ever since he was a wee mewling babe, there didn't seem much the rest of us younger folk could do with his overly doting mom and the ever-enabling aunts ignoring all contradictory cries that he wasn't the docile angel he seemed to be. From playing truant in school to frequenting gambling halls after, it didn't take much foresight to predict what would become of the enfant terrible. 

Though it did give us much fodder for our cousinly conversations!

Which brings us to his current predicament. Not content with fleecing the frantic faithful with his necromantic prowess, it seems he had also taken up another side job with one of my other cousins. 

Ever the eternal optimist, Macho Mike ignored all the previous hoary tales about Richie Runt & The Missing Cash Register and took him under his wing. It didn't take very long before he'd confirmed that most of the tales of the boy's faithlessness, indolence and deceit were all too true. Apparently he was quite as awful an employee as he was a student in the past. 

Paul : You just didn't want to bail him out of jail, right? 

Mike : That's true. Now it's someone else's turn. 

Perhaps Lispy Lori needs another volunteer for her non-profit organisation?