Christmas Secrets

Has it only been but a year since the arrival of Ambiguous Aaron?

In the surprisingly short span of a year, this buttoned-down conservative bachelor has managed to bewitch, bother and bewilder more than a few of us, most particularly when it comes to the hush-hush issue of his sexuality. Irrepressibly straight, he claimed repeatedly - though his subsequent behaviour - and the uncontrollable drool whenever a sexy fit fellow walks by - had us all a little doubtful.

The question of Is He or Isn't He filled our daily conversations for a couple of weeks before we managed to successfully confirm the fact, thanks to our well-placed connections in the pink mafia. Ever since the day we dispatched our agents, several confidential dossiers have mysteriously landed on my desk detailing his each and every move prior to arriving here, from covert assignations in the dark to the more public meets out in the open. 

All of which does indubitably corroborate the fact that the man isn't ambiguously gay, but most certainly swings that way. 

Girl : You're gay, aren't you?
Aaron : What makes you say that!
Girl : Your Grindr profile. 

So why the awful provoking mystery? 

Does he think we're incredibly obtuse to the fact? Does he have a certain quota of people he can come out to in a month? Does he not know himself well enough? Does he think he can, and will change? Perhaps finally coming out to us would only underline the fact that Aaron isn't yet ready to face, even to himself. 

Since all of us have already confirmed our suspicions unbeknownst to him, our conversations when it comes to his supposedly lady-killer ways, has become just a tad stilted. Initially we did try to occasionally lay some homo bait hoping that he'd be drawn out of the closet by inches but Aaron didn't budge in the least... so now it has come to this.  

Aaron : Sure, I'll be heading out on dates. With women. 

Paul : With... women... yeah right. 

Aaron : Will try my best to charm them. The women I mean. 

Paul : Oh I totally believe that you'd charm... the women. 

Coupled with skeptical eye-rolls, even the occasional disbelieving snort. There's only so much oblivious play-acting I can do in a day. 

Seriously, I think we're already the most welcoming, open, tolerant bunch around so why the inexplicable fear of coming out?