Rest assured, I haven't suddenly asked for a transfer to OBGYN. God forbid. Although obstetrics is a mandatory posting for all of us in medicine - and I did enjoy my time there with the screaming, occasionally rabidly psychotic ( understandable, I should think ) mothers-to-be and the equally harassed staff in the delivery suite, I've relegated most of my obstetrics experience to the back of my mind as things to be forgotten since it's highly unlikely I'd be caught between the naked thighs of a screaming, hyperventilating woman anytime soon.
Frequently we see bloody gory scenes of delivery highlighted on television - with the prerequisite scene of the anxious father-to-be fainting over the indescribable sight to canned laughter. The blood and the gore is unfortunately true but although more than a few women subscribe to such dramatic hysterics when faced with the unbearable pain, they actually remain in the minority.
Instead of remaining crouched at the end of the table as the doctor awaiting the baby, I finally got the opportunity to be on the other side for once. You'll be forgiven for imagining all sorts of lurid National Enquirer conclusions - I would have imagined pretty much the same myself. It's not true though. I haven't traded my subscription to Gay Times for FHM as yet and despite my vague desires to be a father, the lady isn't the unfortunate surrogate mother of my unborn child either.
A close colleague of mine, let's call her Silently Screaming Mimi for today, had her unwelcome contractions during the day that I was on-call and an epidural was placed to allay her pains - and her obvious distress. There was no way to ascertain whether her epidural worked since she replied to every question with an unintelligible, monosyllabic grunt - akin to my Neanderthal phone conversations.
Later in the midst of my relatively busy call, I came over for a review around midnight - to check on her epidural - only to find her bearing down for delivery and I was dragged in by the obstetrician ( who's no longer any friend of mine! ) to provide moral support - in lieu of her errant husband who's unsurprisingly AWOL. In retrospect, I guess I was the best choice since as a gay man, I wouldn't be in the least bit interested in her bloody bits.
Thankfully Screaming Mimi did no verbal abuse / bashing of any sort - confining her acute distress to heated glares at any males in close contact and the occasional grunt of suppressed anger during her contractions - but my beautiful 100% cotton shirt isn't going to look the same anymore after the way she tore at my collar. Still I managed to maintain my composure as best I could while yelling at the top of my voice for her to bloody hell push.
Obviously coaching and moral support works since there's a three kg bouncing baby somewhere in town right now being nursed. After her stoic and silent experience, Mimi was surprisingly calm after delivery, and thanked me profusely for being there - but after my unprecedented and possibly unwelcome appearance at such a private moment, I don't know how we're gonna face each other tomorrow :)
Certainly wouldn't mind him as a coach...
Certainly not to undermine the essential role mothers play but it actually left me with a far more appreciative outlook on the fathers' role. Although it's wonderful to have the fathers physically present at the delivery, they unfortunately do seem almost superfluous in such a setting and I've always wondered what goes through their minds as they watch the delibery of their baby. Horror? Fear? Relief? Do they worry about the impact they're gonna have on the new life? Do they feel the sudden enormous responsibility weigh heavy on their shoulders? Do they wonder whether the oozing gore will permanently gonna stain their shirts?
Still despite feeling terribly awkward being there, I think I made a relatively good coach :)
16 comments:
I'm bet you made a fine coach! You da man!
Bandit Talks
Coach me now, doc... ;-p
Thanks, rick!
Just come over now, leggy :)
Paul
I happen to know what went through my Brother's mind when he watched his wife give birth since he told me. He viewed his wife in a new and more respectful way, as more "determined" was what he said in a tight lipped manner. He also noted that he would not be getting in her way any time soon.
More determined is a good way of putting it, Sue :) Indomitable is more like it.
But anyway, I'm just stunned looking at the picture I put up. It looks remarkably like Barry in a blue tee if I squint hard.
Paul
Hmm... I wonder what goes through fathers' minds too. Possibly:
"I wonder how's the Man U game going?"
You helped deliver a baby ??! *feigns shock* That's so cool. I just love babies. ;p
A majority of gynaecologists is female, right. I doubt male doctors would wanna choose that field of medicine. Although, my friend's dad is one. My friend told me he would scour through his father's books to have a look at the female anatomy. Sometimes, his father would tell him anecdotes about the vagina. So funny ! LOL !
If you were the coach wearing the blue thight fitting singlet! Anytime mate, I'll be glad to be working under you :-)My aspirations of becoming a health professional will be near soon!
Anyway, good job man! Additional karma credits to your bankable karma bank!
Yeah, the miracle of life is a messy, painful business. 'We give birth astride the grave.'
Pity about the shirt - though I'm surprised you wear anything to work that you wouldn't be prepared for someone to spew, bleed or whatever over. And I'd want to rip the shirt off you for different reasons ... ;oP
As for Mimi, I'm sure you and she will now share a special bond, having gone through the experience of blood and pain together. ;o)
Isn't there a code of conduct about being present in your close colleague's delivery?
By the way, what's the gender of the baby..a female I guess or else you would have said something bout that..hahahahaha
Keep up the good work and I am always impressed by guys who are not the obstetrician and yet can be present at the delivery......I don't think I will be able to support myself in there...propably ask the nurse to wheel in the stretcher for me also..hahahahaha....
Wow wow.... You are one fine man as well! hehe
Boy: My money's on #3.
Had nightmares yet, Paul? I don't know why some fathers feel the need to capture their kids' delivery on video. It's not exactly something you'd want to pop on...ever.
A vagina's already a horrible enough thing, but to see a baby's head sticking wetly out of it...
-shudder-
None of the above, boy :) He actually looks a bit like that if you squint! The arms and the chest are the same anyway if not the face.
weeshiong, I think you just might be right about that :)
Ahmad, shocked that I delivered a baby? I didn't actually. Not this time but I delivered literally hundreds when I was a house officer.
chas, wasn't it gory and cool? :)
Maximus, exactly what course are you doing? :O
Lemme work on my pecs first, ru, then you can rip off my shirt. heck, I'd rip it off myself :P
quavadis, I am a doctor you know :) Really! So I can be present at the delivery although it was a tad unorthodox. My colleague was quite relieved though.
Thanks, ca va. Please spread that news to everyone single you know.
That's exactly what I thought, Jamie! Who watches it!
Jay, imagine sticking your hand inside that to check the dilation!
Paul
OMGD, hope there was no any premature babies..In that anycase you could see the gates of HADES open to see the world..
Yo, Neil. What did that mean! :O
Paul
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