The past few days were my lazy days - spent shopping, lazing about and reading neglected novels ( added a few more to my stash expecially after blowing out the whole year's tax rebate on books in two days ). And of course meeting some of the bloggers online. Isn't it amazing how we somehow associate certain looks and features to certain blogger writers online - only to find that they might not actually conform to what we imagine! Obviously one of the first things they asked about was my so-called relationship with Big Bicep Barry. Nothing much I could tell them unfortunately since it's practically at a standstill. Not moving forward ( if it's even moving, it's going at the horrifying speed of a glacier ), not moving backward but just static, I guess. A friend of mine offered to help investigate the mystery and to my horror, I came to realize that I was actually afraid to know the truth. As much as I'm dead curious to find out, I'm also quite happy with the stagnating pool we're standing in right now. It isn't that easy finding a friend with similar tastes and interests after all - and I don't have the guts to rock the still waters to uncover what's hidden beneath ( such as finding out that he's actually into heavy leather and S&M with Bountiful Betty! ).
Isn't it interesting how something you're reading somehow oddly parallels life? Or at least shades of the truth? After all, I'm having problems of my own finding the main protagonist in my life.
Jules would certainly understand what I'm going through.
Mainstream romances certainly aren't known for placing gay characters into the forefront as the gay men are usually relegated to the occasional witty quip as the helpful token homo friend. However one of the books I'm reading now, Hot Target, actually has a secondary subplot detailing the story of a tough, handsome FBI agent - Jules Cassidy - who's torn between a faithless ex-lover and a bitterly confused gay-vague actor, the luscious Robin. Oh yeah, Jules also happens to be gay.
Calling it a subplot diminishes the role Jules plays in the story since he's essentially a main character and his flawed love story stumbles along side by side with the main romance ( and occasionally overshadows the main story ). I love the witty Jules - his unflagging strength, his self-deprecating sense of humour and his courage as he deals with an extremely painful situation. Take a look at the excerpt here.
Sound familiar?
18 comments:
i must admit, i try not to put a face on u whenever im reading ur blog. makes me more objective ;) i work in manila btw.
Hmmm, this friend of yours reads this blog right? I'm sure he'll get the hint not to 'kepo'. :)
At least you're one step ahead of me! I'm still closeted and not sure what to do with this situation! So much too loose but not enough gain - ie love! I guess if you don't move forward, you will never know. Sound familiar?
Have you seen Latter Days on DVD ? I think it's a B grade movie but it's been good for the soul! Cried my eyes out! :-) I now have to buy and read Hard Target too!
As for the coffee, don't give it up! It's the best anti-oxidant drink around! (in moderation off course)...
Manila doctors. Yummy. :P No need to be objective... I'm hideous homely.
Daniel, the friend does read the blog obviously :)
Ian, it's up to you how far you want to be out of the closet. So take it slow. I loved Latter Days! And you should take a look at Hot Target.
Paul
I love gay romances. If only the mainstream market would see the potential instead of saying "There's no market for it...." I say that's BS. After, most connosieurs of books are women and gay men, and a lot of straight women love a good gay romance that's not too graphic.
Paul, where do you usually get your books? I love romances. I usually visit Kinokuniya and MPH but gay romances are rare where I am (or maybe I've totally blind to them).
hideously homely? arent we all? hehehe. (probably not, why else would ur blog be so interesting to read :)) btw, formerly in the med field, not anymore. having more fun painting the town red... and green, and blue....
I wish I were able to chat online but I can't! you know I'd love to but I just can't find my time now. I want naughty chat!
I just finished one book tonight and I cried a lot at the end. This is why I can't read as many books as I want since I tend to be so emotional. I can't read them in public.
paul... honey,
i took up your advice and bought more books now that my book shelves are over-pouring with romantic hetero novels.
uh... i've got a gay novel too. a vampire kinda thing. he fuck him, he suck blood.
wanna trade?
Gay novels - if they're not funny, like Robert Rodi (Fag Hag, Drag Queen, Closet Case), they're invariably depressing AIDS-related stories.
Or just cover-to-cover porny erotica.
So, who did you meet?
Have you read Half-Life by Aaron Krach? It is about a nerdy male teenager who meets a male police officer. I also enjoyed seeing the movie Latter Days.
Why don't you believe Barry when he tells you that Betty is just a friend?
And you are the main protagonist in your own life, honey. :oP
Gay movie make me sad. "Latter Days" make me cry...
Paul. I thought you are out of the world persistance kind of guy who will not take no for an answer? Remember how you tried so hard to find Barry's age?
What stopping you this time around? As if nowadays, you neither here nor there when it come to everything relating to Barry.
Lost of faith? Or scared to know the truth?
Hi Paul, I read your blog since hm.. july I think (I stumbled over you on adwoff actually). I wanted to tell you, that I really enjoy your posts, I often find myself laughing tears when reading your blog, thanx for that ;o)
How funny that you mentioned 'Hot Target', I bought it yesterday, thinking of a lazy weekend with lots of tea in front of my imaginary fireplace reading a romance.. but of course i can't resist now anymore.
Talking of books and movies with gay protagonists - what do you think of 'queer as folk'? They just started to show the US version -finally- also here in Germany. (of course at midnight and without any previous advertising, but at least it's on free tv..). Isn't Brian absolutely HOT?
And about Barry, I know what you mean with 'static' it's the phase of endless interpretations and misunderstandings.. :op
I must check out the book in the library someday. Sounds hot... guy on guy action ;)
Superficial stuff aside, don't be arfraid to know the truth, at least it beats wondering in the dark right?
The truth is out there... -cue X-files music-
darlene said.....
I can really picture you with Jules. Everytime I read one of her books with Jules in it, I always think what a couple you and he would make.
Oi! You mean to say I don't look like Jien??? -gives incredulous look-
Well, brian, I love gay romances too. The cute thing about Hot target is that it's actually geared towards mainstream hetero romance but there's a strong gay subplot in it.
You can actually find books in MPH and Kino if you look really hard :0 Otherwise order online, darlin.
designdoc, now painting the town? Hmm...
shigeki, u work too hard. Take some time off and chat naughty with me.
musang, I think I have that naughty gay vamp book.
Hey, Jay, I met Leggy, Chris and Derek.
sue, I liked Latter Days. I gotta watch out for Half Life.
Ru, I just need to hate Betty :) I'm mean that way.
pakcik, you're right. I need to get my groove back :)
camydi, glad you dropped by with a comment :) I love QAF - and I actually like Michael more!
squido, it does beat wondering.. gonna try finding out this weekend.
darlene, I love Jules!! He's damned cute!
I need a bigger picture to tell for sure, weeshiong :)
Paul
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