That Medical Gollum

Deep inside every generally respectable, well-adjusted physician, you'll no doubt find a desperately kiasu medical student cowering in the shadows. Perhaps you'll have to shuffle through several layers of slick, shiny ego and shift through the muck of arrogance but believe me, dig deep enough beneath their personalities and there's still the shadow of their pasts.

Medical students. Type A personalities found easily enough in the corridors and halls of major teaching hospitals along with the occasional generic coffee houses downing expressos by the gallon to keep awake. Certainly a breed onto themselves - practically worthy of a genus and species of their own. Seemingly independent hermits holed up in their cave-like dormitories who live and breathe medical text ( transforming academia into glucose through the Craps Cycle ), dusty tomes and smeared PDAs never that far from the energy bars that keep them jittery and awake, prone to spontaneously blurt out ( vaguely perverted ) acronyms to dozens of obscure medical diseases.

And characterized by a particular sort of kiasuness where failing is simply not an option. Muttering deep into the wee hours of the morning about scores, CGPAs and book prizes with the occasional wicked cackle.


Away from me, thy foul creature!
Of course after the graduation, this particular breed finds itself lulled into relative dormancy and evolves into something resembling the rest of the human race - almost indistinguishable from the common man! Yet deep inside there still rests this peculiar medical student breed who hibernates deep only to spring back to life during medical conferences, bargain basement sales and the occasional competency tests.

Sad to say that our medical courses usually tend to bring out the worst in us. Happens when you have little tests and exams scattered throughout the week-long course that only feeds this devilishly competitive monster deep inside waiting to be brought into light.

Medical Student : I must do well! I must score! I must beat all the rest. MUAHAHAHAHA. They shall eat my dust.

Monstrous, eh. I've seen more than a few who've let this depraved creature carry them into unspeakable places.

Like universities and such.

After leaving medical school behind, I've done my best to bury this perverse creature as much as I can - so you won't find it making an appearance all that often. But then today when I flipped open a coursebook - for this course I'm attending for the next few days, I suffered a major relapse. Seriously.

There were two thick textbooks covering almost ten chapters each and also an accompanying CD with additional practice sessions and tests. Realizing this at the last possible moment would have given the medical student in me an acute myocardial infarction. There was a brief moment when the medical student ran amuck flipping through the pages while my heart went through cartwheels of ventricular arrythmia.

Fortunately I came to my senses after at least an hour of panicking ( no doubt bringing the medical student to the fore ) and actively memorizing flashcards with handy mnemonics. Stuffed the medical student back into the darker reaches of the brain and took deep fortifying breaths. Looked out the window and reminded myself that life doesn't come to an end even if I don't score top marks.

Quite an achievement for an obsessive-compulsive Type A personality like me.

Then I went out shopping.

I certainly have evolved. From medicalstudenitis to shopaholic. Hmmm.